Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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