it's not cheating when I paid for it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
