We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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