I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
