Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
