Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
