I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
