Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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