So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
