last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize