TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And then my night got REAL pukey
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
