Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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