eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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