I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
