dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
