i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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