Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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