im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
