He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
