i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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