Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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