sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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