if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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