We named our party play list daddy issues
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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