Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
