I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
