sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
