All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
