so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize