He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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