we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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