That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
