And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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