its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize