Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
