some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
jump out the window naked night went bad
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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