You work out of a Hotel?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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