I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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