You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
