Dual....:-)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
