so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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