He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
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Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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