I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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