it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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