I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
