did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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