i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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