it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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