I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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