I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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