Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
