I CAN MOONWALK!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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