she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He shit in the fireplace
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
