sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
