If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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