i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
