so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
