so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
