the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize