well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize