No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
