from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
